Time to Say Goodbye...(Dec.22/09)

It's hard to believe that almost four months have passed since we landed on this exotic island. I vividly remember racing along the winding roads in a taxi that first day- our bags strewn across my lap. My hopes strewn across my heart. Roatan was more than a place. It was the staging point for a dream. It was more than a destination. It was a turning point in a life burning bright. It was more than sand and sea. It was a cocoon for everything we deemed daring, adventurous and brave. This place - these people - became a catalyst for our life less ordinary.

And now, in the plain fashion that it always has, time ticks on. The hour of our departure looms. There is much to be said about what we have learnt and who we have become in this diving mecca, but words just seem to fall short. There are so many things we need to say, and yet, this comfortable silence seems understood. This etheral place shines with the secret knowledge that it houses something magnificent. It's almost as though God presents His finest showings in every dive...in every sunset...in every wave that breaks the shore. We are blessed to have seen it firsthand.

There is more adventure ahead. Although this is an ending, it isn't the end. We leave for Houston on Christmas Eve and then for South Africa on Dec. 26th. Contact will be limited until we arrive on the 28th (our computer is also broken). We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas season! God bless all of you.

Finally Living! (Dec. 13/09)

There is something to be said for finally living. I thought I was free for most of my life - free to make my own decisions, free to choose my own path, free to be the person I truly wanted to be. I was wrong. It took coming on this trip for me to realize that I have always been tied up in the weight of other people's expectations. I've never been the type of person to blindly follow the will of others, but I did let their fear and misgivings dissuade me from pursuing life. I'm not talking about getting that job that you've always dreamed about or finally saving up for that car you've always talked about. I'm not discussing financing a great house or taking a trip once a year. I'm talking about LIVING - feeling the blood rush through your veins...feeling the fear of not knowing what's around the corner and going there anyway...feeling the piss-in-your-pants nervousness and doing it regardless. Those other things are by-products. They aren't the parts that count.

Last night I spent some time reading an old journal I'd save online. It was angry, regretful and unsure. I read over three years worth of entries and could see the twists and turns in my life. Looking back, I realized that there was only one real problem. Although I couldn't see it at the time, I was trying to be someone I wasn't. It's that plain and simple. The funny thing is, the journal ends when I meet Kevin. There are no more entries because I could finally be exactly who I wanted to be. He and I were the same in all the ways that count. There were no unrealistic expectations anymore. I could breathe.

As we approach the end of our trip to Roatan, I can see more and more how this place - these people - have changed me. Even after I met Kevin and felt more at peace, there was still this restless disquiet within my life. I had this nervous energy that translated well when it came to my journalism jobs, but not so well in my personal life. It was fear...fear that I wasn't really living. Truth is, I wasn't. I was bored and, deep inside, I knew there had to be more. There is....hells yes there is!!! I found it in Roatan.

Three and a half years ago, while I was writing that last journal entry, if you had told me I'd be here teaching my first open water course, I would have laughed! How could I go from that state to this one? It is literally a lifetime apart. But I have. Somehow I pulled it off. It wasn't easy and I made mistakes, but I learnt a hell of a lot (much like this topsy-turvy thing called life).

So to anyone who is reading this and feeling that same disquiet inside, stop trying to live and just live. I know what you're experiencing. It's that ache lingering before you fall asleep reminding you that you're missing out on a great adventure. It's that ball of nerves encouraging you to take a blind leap of faith and do something different. It's the little voice in your head telling you that you deserve more than what you've been offering yourself. We are each given only a certain number of days and decisions on this Earth. Make sure each one of yours counts.

I'll leave you with something I wrote a couple of months ago describing my emotions now...

"...and so life continues on this strange little island of ours. This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. unable to contain the swelling delirium of dreams crowding my mind. I stumbled onto the balcony and fell into the soft spools of the hammock. The air was thick with salt and heavy-lidded clouds burgeoned with the weight of water. For once, my breathing wasn't laboured with thick humidity and my skin didn't prickle with kisses from the sun. I fell into an ocean of warmth, nonsensical dreams remembering my life before its kismit connection to this electric place....thankful for all that was, all that is and all that will be."

Just Call Us Instructors! (Nov. 29/09)

Woooooohhhhhooooooooo!!! We did it! We are officially open water scuba instructors!! WOW! That was an incredibly busy/stressful/packed few weeks. After finishing our divemaster program we went into the Instructor Development Course (IDC) with Will Welbourn of Coconut Tree Divers (www.goprocaribbean.com) and he proceeded to teach us how to teach others. What an incredible learning experience! I don't think we could have asked for a better course director and we are supremely happy with the results. The Instructor Exam (IE) was two days of nerves and worry but we came out ahead. There was definitely a big contrast between those candidates trained by others and those of us trained by Will. He is heads and tails above the rest. In short, he is a star! The same can be said of the instructors at CCD. They showed us everyday (by example) what great instructors are. We can only hope to have their mad skills one day in the future because they are truly incredible.

For those of you who don't know what the IE entails, I'll inform you. It starts with testing in the subjects of dive theory, physics, equipment, physiology and dive skills and the environment. Your skills are then tested in open water. After that, rescue skills are examined. Following that, a pool session ensues for confined skills. Moving along you take a 90 minute exam on the general standards and procedures of PADI certification. If you make it through that, you are able to give a knowledge presentation for the group. WOW.

I haven't been that nervous in....well....ever. During the examiner's opening speech he asked us to define professionalism. I couldn't even move. My mouth hung open while my brain tried to grasp at an answer. It was no use. I was paralyzed with fear. Looking back, I shouldn't have been. My marks were close to perfect and I walked away a happy woman. Kevin rocked it too! He was an absolute rock during the entire thing and brought his A Game! Woot! Anyway...enough about diving for a bit.

We are leaving Roatan on Dec. 24th. I found a great deal for a flight from Houston to Cape Town on the 26th. Finding a great deal from Roatan to Houston, however, is proving more difficult. UGH! I'm not sure if we'll be back this way...depends on where we'll get instructing jobs. The plan is to go to SA for two or three months and then follow the working trail. Hopefully we'll land in Thailand or Malaysia for a while. You just never know where the road will lead. Although we miss everyone terribly, this adventure isn't over...not yet!

Oh, and before I forget, let me wish a million congratulations to Jenny and Luke Brunham on their adorable new bundle of joy Ava!!! She was born on November 25th - happy and healthy! Way to go guys! I can't wait to meet her. Jenny is holding up incredibly well and has confirmed my suspicions that she's superwoman. A day after giving birth, she was walking around the Crystal Centre picking up Christmas crafts!!! If that isn't superhuman, I don't know what is. Anyway, miss you all! Big hugs and lots of love.

Whoa! Time is flying! (Nov. 18)

Thought I'd warm you up with a few diving pics to make you jealous out there in the cold!!

I am totally stunned that it's been so long since I last updated the blog. Wow. Sorry about that everyone...I'll try and get my act together! Much has happened since I last let you sneak a peak into this crazy adventure we now call life.

First of all, we finished our divemaster course! YAY! It was an incredible learning experience that was so much fun. Coconut Tree is definitely one of the best things that has happened to either of us. The attention to safety, training and fun makes it the top-shop in my opinion. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone. The instructors here are fabulous times a thousand. Anyway, we did our course and survived our snorkel tests (barely). We had about a week to do some fun dives and rest a bit afterwards. During that time we had a few very interesting dives...

One of those dives happend to be the shark dive (with a different shop because ours doesn't do them)! Wow! What an experience. Being surrounded by eight or nine Caribbean Reef sharks is pretty cool. The problem was that the bad divers were more frightening than the sharks! There was an incredibly strong current so we had to use a descent line. It was SUCH a struggle to make it down. I have never experienced such a current in my life. Anyway, we made it down and almost immediately two people ran low on air. Without a divemaster to take them up (one was feeding the sharks...the other was videotaping) guess who took them up? Yup....

Anyway, the rest of the dive was great. We were supposed to crouch by a coral formation so that we wouldn't have the sharks behind us. Our group, however, was huge so there wasn't enough room. I, of course, was at the end so I was pushed into the open. There were a few very close encounters (sharks are extremely curious...or at least these ones were) but I had a great time.

On the ascent a lady let go of the line and was thrown into the blue with one fin. That part was frightening but Kevin swam out there and used all his might to bring her back to the line!! Awesome. Once we were back on the surface we boarded our tiny boat (all 16 of us) only to find out that the battery had died. So there we were, stuck in the open ocean with 16 people from a lesbian cruise (including a transvestite who "came along for the experience"), on a tiny boat with sharks circling below. At that moment my only thought was, "Good God..how will they explain this to my parents if I die?" Luckily, that didn't happen!!!

As of this Saturday past, we are in our instructor development course (IDC) and we are learning a TON. It is so informative and hands-on. I highly recommend anyone wanting to do the IDC to do it with Will at our shop. He is the best. It is such an organized and well-planned experience and he really knows what he's teaching. Anyway, so far so good on that. The Instructor Exam (IE) is a week from tomorrow (Nov. 25) and runs over two days. It involves open water, confined and knowledge presentations as well as a skill circuit and rescue demonstration.

So that's life on Roatan...I'm sure there are a million interesting stories I'm forgetting but it's almost 1 a.m. and my writing is starting to not make sense anymore!! Better get to bed. We miss you and love you all...

A Little of Everything...(Oct. 26th)

WOW! I simply can't believe how long it's been since I updated the blog. It's literally feels as though time is flying. We have trouble keeping up with the days of the week - difficulty remembering the date. Life is a succession of dives. Weekends don't matter much - every day here is the same to us and to the people around us who weave their way through a similar simplistic schedule. Don't get me wrong, we are constantly on the go. It just seems more fulfilling - more engaging - than activities were in the past. We are consumed by the moment.

It's been about a week since I said goodbye to my good friend Shona. She is off to tour South America and then plans on heading to Australia for a year. I have missed her more than I can describe. We were together everyday (minus only one or two) for two months. You build quite a connection during quality time like that. I confess that I did cry when she left. I knew it was coming but I somehow wasn't prepared to enjoy Roatan without her sense of humor. We sure did laugh a lot during dives - just a look underwater would send us both into spasms of laughter. She is a friend for life and I hope to meet up with her again soon. She's too cool to let go of!

I am thankful that our last dive together was a very special one. On the way to the dive site last Friday, a passing boat stopped to tell us about their grand find...a whale shark a couple of minutes away. Our boat captain Fred put Bottom Time into high gear and made of to find the giant beast. As we approached, we could see hundreds of fish popping at the surface. Without a snorkel, I joined the crew as we left the boat and fell into the ocean - her bathwater warmth enveloping us. I was tired before we spotted the creature, but my fatigue fell away as I breathlessly made my way to the spectacle. I'll never forget arriving in her presence. I watched her spin underwater and then popped my head out to see her fins fan the ocean air. For a few moments I was in total awe. My breathing became shallow...my heart beat hard in my chest...and my mind was almost at a loss figuring out how to file this incredible experience. Just as I gained the courage to get closer, she heaved her giant body and fell to the ocean floor. Then it was just us and the deep blue ocean. I am thankful Shona was able to experience that with me on her last dive in Roatan. What a beautiful memory.

The next day Christie and I took Shona to La Ceiba on the mainland to catch her flight. Little did we know it was canceled and rebooked for a day later. Thanks TACA. You are a great airline. Anyway, making the best of the situation we had a few drinks and hit up a local club. It as quite an experience because I could literally see over the heads of everyone on the dance floor. I swear the people here must think I'm a giant. In any case, we met up with a few of Christie's friends from highschool who gave me a traditional Honduran shot made of grass and fermented herbs. I proceeded to throw up six times. The night, as I'm sure you can imagine, ended there.

La Ceiba was a heap of fun but mostly because of the awesome company. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Inbetween we did some shopping and a lot of eating. It was nice to take a break from island life and see a few shops. I bought a new pair of shorts but most things were waaaay too small. It's not easy buying clothes when everything is designed for short people. Jenny would love it here! ;-)

Since I arrived home from La Ceiba time has been flying. It's all a blur of fantastic funny memories. One night in particular will stay with me forever. We were hanging out at Christie and Monty's house when a Mariachi band burst through the front door playing La Bamba!! I swear, it was the most random thing and we laughed our faces off. Apparently a few guys from the dive shop chipped in to sponsor the surprise. That moment was pure gold for Kevin and I. I do have photos and video...perhaps I'll post it a bit later.

Diving is going well as always. We had an incredible storm at the beginning of the last week which forced diving to the other side of the island. I have never seen rain come down so hard or so fast. I really didn't think it was possible. In any case, our divemaster program continues to go well. We have both finished all of our academics (including the dreaded physics exam! Yikes!) and only have a few things left to do before we are offically divemasters! It is incredible to think how much we have learnt and how much experience we have gained in the past two months. It is not easy, but it's well worth everything you gain. It'll definitely go down as one of the best experiences of our lives. We are learning an incredible amount about ourselves and each other.

Until we meet again my friends....

Roasted Chicken & Fading Laundry (Oct. 12/09)

Success! At long last we had our Thanksgiving dinner. After yesterday's fiasco ended with sandwiches and rum, we decided to give our roast chicken supper another go. Isaac, Ally, Shona, Kevin and I crammed into our little apartment and, after three and a half hours, we had a delicious meal...that was devoured in eight minutes! It was soooo worth the effort! Besides, I think it was the first time we've had proper veggies since we've been here. I'm really not joking when I say I think we might end up with scurvy if things don't change soon!

Dinner was a great end to a wonderful day. I've been doing our laundry by hand (there is a washing machine on site but only the maid's may use it...and you have to pay them to do it), and today I noticed I had some missing clothes. I'd already done 80% of the laundry and this perplexed me. Having arrived while the maid was changing the sheets earlier, I handed her a tip and left. She must have misunderstood my gesture because, about a half hour later, the missing clothes returned ready for the drying line....smelling strongly of bleach...even the coloured items. Whoops!

After that discovery, Shona and I decided to hit up Carreon in Coxen Hole...think Wal-Mart with less class. Yup...picture mesh pants in neon colours and lime green shirts proclaiming "Blondes don't pay cover." Snazzy. Pulling ourselves away from the endless array of plaid, we made our way up the street where we found a Bojangles Chicken & Biscuits. It's really strange to see a few American restaurants mixed in with Honduran culture. Once we had our fill of fried chicken we ambled up the road to the grocery store where it was meat packing day. It was a site to see cow ribs still fully intact making their way up the aisles in shopping carts. Shona literally almost fainted when a cow's tongue slipped through a hole in one of the bags!!

And so life continues on this strange little island of ours....this morning I woke up at 4 a.m. unable to contain the swelling delirium of dreams crowding my mind. I stumbled onto the balcony and landed in the soft spools of the hammock. The air was thick with salt and heavy lidded clouds burgeoned with the weight of water. For once, my breathing wasn't laboured with thick humidity and my skin didn't prickle with kisses from the sun. I fell into an ocean of warm, nonsensical dreams remembering my life before its kismit connection to this electric place....thankful for all that was, all that is and all that will be.

Thanksgiving & Piglets (Oct. 11/09)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We tried to celebrate in style but it didn't quite work out the way we planned. I bought a new roasting pan which didn't fit in the oven...then we spent a good 30 minutes trying to remove the handles from a pan to use that...and then we ran out of propane! HA HA HA! What a treat! Our prep work was all for nothing and we put it in the fridge in the hopes that we'll be able to make our food tomorrow. Instead of a grand meal, we went out for sandwiches and rum! You have to love the island life. Three months ago something like this would really have pissed me off. It would have thrown me into a bad mood...these days I roll with the punches. What can you do? I feel so blessed to be here and to have the opportunity to live these days on our own terms. I doubt there's a more thankful person out there tonight. The only thing that would have made this day complete would be to be with our families. Special days remind us of just how far away we are. This Christmas will be the first time I'm away from my parents and brother....best not to think about that now though.

The diving life continues on as interesting as ever. I've spent the last few days assisting on an open water course with a little person (midget to be completely politically incorrect). He's spent the majority of the time trying to look up my shorts, so it's been an interesting game of cat and mouse. He tries to catch a peek...and I continually turn around to wag my winger at him disapprovingly. I would never have been able to predict that story...not in a million years. Roatan life is a topsy-turvy world of mayhem and magic.

Today Kevin caught the morning boat at Coconut Tree and I went over to assist West End Divers with a fun dive. They needed a DMT and it was my day off. It happened to be a boat full of army guys...not the worst dive of my life ;-)

Oh and before I forget...I'd better tell you about Kevin's new "pet." He has inherited a piglet. Okay, so it's not actually a pig...it's a scooter. A bright yellow scooter. The helmet is too small and it has a very loud muffler. He looks like a circus act when he rides it and it's hilarious! We call it Piglet because he tried to get everyone at the shop to call it a "hog" which is clearly isn't. Thus, the name Piglet was born. The thing and I don't get along at all. Kevin gave me a lift the other day and I feared for my life the entire time. As soon as we got home I hopped off swearing at the thing...and proceeded to trip and tumble down our very steep driveway. I realize Piglet wasn't actually to blame for the unfortunate incident, but I do hold him accountable. Damn dangerous bastard.

Well, that's it for now. We miss you all and wish you could be enjoying the island life with us. Here's to beaches, baleadas and bottom time!

Bum shots and birthdays (Oct 8)

It has been far too long since I last updated you on life here in Roatan. So sorry! The internet has been dodgy as hell so I finally broke down and bought a portable modem. It was as expensive as it sounds, but now I can regularly keep in touch with everyone. In my mind, it's worth every penny.

Life on Roatan is ambling along as it always does. I never liked living in small towns...growing up it was the bane of my existence, but small islands are different. I enjoy walking into work and hearing about Tom dropping the price of his 1984 Bronco by a thousand bucks. Or the fact that Carl found his missing dog Deuce. The gossip doesn't seem as malicious as it does in small town Canada. Here it's simply the way the word gets around. West End is particularly a world in and of itself. It's easy to fall into the comfortable wave of friendly banter and familiarity. We feel more and more as though we belong...and who wouldn't want to belong here....

Here are a few photos I've been meaning to post for some time now. Below is a pic of Monty and Kevin playing beer frisbee. It's a tough life...

You didn't think I'd forget to post photos of Kevin's birthday, did you? Nope...he's not lucky enough to have the evidence disappear. Below are some photos of his birthday celebration which we actually did the day before on the 16th. Cactus is another DMT at the shop and they both happen to love Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. They both knew every single word and did a great dance for everyone...enjoy!

Mixmaster Monty rocking 80's night. By day he's a tech diver and instructor at the shop (and Kevin's best friend here...they are joined at the hip).

This is fellow Canadian John. He's from Edmonton and he gave Kevin a little love on his special day!

On Kevin's birthday the shop decided to bake him a cake as I mentioned a few posts ago. The "cake" happened to involve throwing eggs at him and then covering him in flour! Beautiful!

It took a lot of people!

This was Kevin's birthday breakfast!

Here's a pic from karaoke. The whole gang got involved with Kev leading the pack!

Now that I've caught you up on some previous photos I meant to post, here are a few that are more recent. Last Sunday we went on another island tour but this time it was with the Scuba Geek (http://www.thescubageek.com/). Steve was an instructor here but has recently returned to the states for a "walk about." You can't find someone who's a better guide and he gave us a great tour. It started a bit rocky though when the gear shift of jeep we borrowed came clean out of its socket. Turns out you just push it back in and give 'er. Not the safest vehicle I've ever been in. Note the fire extinguisher above the driver's side. Hmmm....

We took a few folks from the shop along and they followed us on their bikes. Below are Lauren, Bisch and Johnny.

This beach is well-hidden from the cruiseshippers and tourists. We had the whole place to ourselves.

This is the best view of the island. It took a long time to get up there but the reward was breathtaking.

After a few hours of exploring the island, we decided to check out one of Roatan's most famous spots...Hole in the Wall. It's a small restaurant out in the middle of the water. You wait at the dock and eventually a little boy comes out in a boat to collect you.

It doesn't look like much, but the lobster and steak is fantastic!

We all took a nap after indulging in all the good food.....

So, as you can see, life is pretty rough these days. Most of the people here are very much like us...trying to escape the ordinary beat of the normal day-to-day. We talk about the "real world" every now and then, but mostly to find out what people used to do for a living and where they did it. Some people have been gone for so long this life...this place...is the only reality they remember. It's the only thing they choose not to forget. I'm learning more and more that life and the way you lead it is a choice. The people we're meeting aren't rich...they don't have some secret to making it out of the 9-5 monotony. They simply made the decision to live a life less ordinary. Here we don't even have to explain. People just get it.

I'll leave you with a group shot of the Coconut Tree gang. We're missing a few key people. I'll let you decide if you can spot Kevin!

Pool Parties and Karaoke (Sept 26)

It has been a fun few days. After curfew was lifted on Tuesday afternoon, we all went to the shop to celebrate. Poker and hilarity ensued! We even had a guy from another shop in our rinse tub with one dollar bills on fire sticking out of his ears. We know how to have a good time! Pretty soon we moved our crew to the local pool bar to chill out for the rest of the evening. Even though I had a bikini on underneath and planned to swim, Simon (another DMT) got the festivities started by throwing me into the pool fully clothed. Here are a few pics...it was one night neither Kevin or I will ever forget.

The day after the pool party we had our weekly 80's night...where one of our instructors, Monty, is a DJ. I did a solo interpretive dance to Step by Step by the New Kids on the Block. I may have been the only one on stage and the only one who knew the words, but I'll do it again damnit. Thursday night was Kevin's night to shine when he brought it home for all of West End during Karaoke. I can't remember all the songs he sang, but he brought out some old favourites and the gang cheered and banged on the tables as loud as we could in support. He even recruited three ladies to come in to try scuba...how I haven't asked!! HAHA!

The days keep ticking by on this strange and intoxicating island. Today it's been exactly four weeks since our arrival. I can honestly say it has been a series of ups and downs. The first and third week were difficult and the second and fourth ones have been fantastic. Slowly we are finding our equilibrium here...making great friends...and balancing Roatan's stunning beauty with its seedy underbelly.

Cake and Curfews (Sept 22)

UGH...the internet connection here is really dodgy and I never seem to have it when I need it. Sorry to all that are awaiting updates. I will talk about the political situation in a minute.

Let me start by saying that Kevin had a great 29th birthday. Thank you so much for all the happy birthday wishes. He was thrilled with his new dive computer and the dive shop even made him a cake! Well, it's not exactly what you think. They threw eggs at him and then covered him in flour before pushing him off the dock! It was hilarious. I have photos, but I'll have to post them when my connection is better. He then went diving and played poker...two of his favourite things. It was a nice day for him...next year will be even better.

Other than that, we've been diving a lot...until yesterday that is. Zelaya is back in Honduras at the Brazilian Embassy and it's causing all kinds of havoc. The people really don't want him back in power and I don't blame them. Last night we were forced home because of a countrywide curfew that started at 4 pm. This morning we discovered that it has been extended all day and night. We are unsure of when it will be lifted. Anyone seen on the streets will be arrested, but they seem to give the tourists a bit more slack.

At this time I have no minutes on my cell phone and no shops are open. The dive shop owner also owns a little corner grocery store which he opened for 10 minutes so we could get some supplies. The airports and ferries are shut down and no one is allowed to come in or leave. We've heard of riots on the mainland and there is talk that all our visas will be revoked. It's scary for those who own property or have their whole lifes here. For us...well...we'll just move on to Belize and finish our DMT program later on if they force us out. We have a year to do it.

The internet has been especially bad over the past 24 hours...no internet at the dive shop which is rare. Our connection at the house is always dodgy but the 3G networks are usually good. Some have speculated that the cell phone signals are being scrambled to avoid communication with the outside world. I have heard media reports that cell phones are being totally blocked in some areas. It is hard to know what's accurate when you're in the middle of it. What I do know is that the international media is not reporting all of the facts. Their biased reporting says that the people want Zelaya back in power when that is clearly not the case. The journalist in me wants to get involved, but I won't. Every person here has told me not to report from within the country...that's it's much too dangerous. I believe that and will keep my nose out of their business. Like I said, I'm just here to dive...nothing else.

So, we are riding out the curfew not knowing when we will be allowed to play in paradise once again. We wanted adventure...and this is definitely adventure. I don't feel unsafe...just a nervous energy popping within my veins. The air is electric with tension as this country sits on edge awaiting its fate. Let's pray it's a good one.

Blossoming Hope (Sept 17)

As I meet three weeks in Roatan, I feel an impending shift approaching. I feel like I'm lying on the surface of the ocean after a great deep dive. The ebb and flow rocks you back and forth as you await your turn at the boat ladder. Sometimes you'll catch a wake and feel the water push you up like a sea nymph emerging from the depths. There's a small quake of excitement in the bottom of your belly before the ocean cradles you in her gentle grip once again.

I feel like I'm slowly drifting in a new direction...one I'd been hoping to find for a very long time. I can't explain it without going into crazy detail, but I find myself craving the things I'd forgotten I loved. The things I used to enjoy but pushed aside when time got short. For a long time I became a very serious...very worried person. Life became a series of steps I could calculate and analyze. Living was something to be manipulated and molded. Being free and fun-loving shifted into worry and stress. Eventually things just got convoluted. People very close to me know that was much of the reason for this trip...this grand adventure...for me to find the person I lost. I don't know how it happened, but it did. I changed into someone I couldn't recognize, but slowly, very slowly, I see glimpses of her.

Yesterday, during our surface interval between dives, Shona and I swam in the beautiful warm waters off of the boat. She went in first and I followed but, instead of rising, I went under. I swam through the salty sea and grabbed her leg pretending to be a shark. We doubled over into fits of giggles unable to stop as I hit the surface. I thought I might drown because I couldn't keep afloat and laugh that hard at the same time. I looked up at the clouds as water gushed around my face from the deep laughter and thought, "This is how I used to be. This is how I will be again."

Slowly, I feel the stress of my old life leaving. At night I feel the numbing fingers of worry less and less. I've even had the urge to write human interest pieces again...one of my favourite things to do before things got "serious." There are so many stories here. There is so much left unsaid. For now I'll simply let this blossoming feeling of hope bloom in my belly a little longer...

Car rentals and Chinese Food (Sept 11)

Yesterday we decided to rent a car and go for Chinese food...in Honduras. Need I say more? HAHA!! First I'll recap the day before yesterday. In the afternoon I get a knock at the door. It's my landlord's fiance. He says there's been talk that I clean a lot....like a lot, a lot. In fact, it's making the maid very nervous. HUH? There's a maid here? Apparently yes...she comes in once a week to do all the cleaning and wash the sheets. AND, get this...there is a washing machine downstairs. I guess I'm the only one who didn't know. It would have been wonderful to know all of this before I handwashed, sheets, towels and clothes in the sweltering heat!! Oh well...we both had a good chuckle and I still intend to clean on top of her cleaning. Cleanliness really is next to Godliness when you're living in Honduras....

Anyway, like I said, we rented a little Geo Tracker yesterday. It's pretty cute and did the trick. We set out to explore the island and got up early so we'd have enough time. Turns out, this island is only 30 miles long and 3 miles at its widest. Exploring it didn't take as much time as we thought it would!! BUT, let me tell you, it sure is beautiful. I mean, the scenery is breath-taking. Along the roads you can see parts of sunken ships sticking out of the water. I've never imaged something so awe-inspiring in my wildest dreams. Of course, I couldn't get a picture because Kevin's idea of exploring and mine are very different. I envisioned stops along the way to get loads of photos...he envisioned driving like a local cabbie...forget signaling...and slowing down to take corners anyway? It was an experience. Finally we ended up on the north side of the island at a place called Paya Bay...incredible! Here are a few pics...

I managed to delete the middle pic which was a cute one of us!! ARGH...will add it again later.

We then hit up Eldon's which is where all the US, Canadians and English get their groceries. It has almost everything you'd need at almost double the price! We got some great supplies but it wasn't cheap. Roatan really isn't cheap at all...it's quite expensive (except rent). After we looked around some more we decided to pick up Shona for dinner. After driving around aimlessly we spotted a Chinese place that a) didn't have any Chinese people working there that we could see and b) served Wan Tan soup. We didn't let it faze us and decided to order.

Never in our lives have we seen such huge portions. Below is what we got AFTER our Wan Tan Soup and egg rolls. It was HUGE and we couldn't believe our eyes. This is just the fried rice..



This is after the three of us (remember that Kevin was there too) ate ourselves into exhaustion. This is our "after" photo!! Can you believe the left-overs? Shona sure can't! It took us forever to try and pack it into to-go containers and, when all was said and done, we dropped it off at the dive shop. If you want a feeding frenzy drop off Chinese left-overs at the shop after a dive. It was amazing!

Anyway, I thought I'd better include a few photos of our new apartment. We are getting pretty comfortable in here now and like it more and more. The photo below is our living room (note our twin bed couch). The tv doesn't have cable so it's pretty much useless! Oh well...

Looking through our balcony doors (which both open) to our hammock.

This is the view from our hallway. I didn't post a photo of the bathroom or bedroom because this damn website takes forever to load them. They are right behind me as I take this photo below...To your left is the kitchen and the right is our living room. Up ahead is our beautiful huge balcony...the best part about the place.

This is our kitchen! It's small but well-stocked after our trip to the market. It's funny but this is the first time I've ever had a toaster oven...had to come all the way to Honduras to get my first one! They're pretty awesome.


Today we are going into the dive shop (as we do everyday anyway) to work on some diving academics. Tonight I'm going to make a nice pasta dish and it should be a good day! Although most days seem to be great on Roatan. I'll leave you with a photo I took last night as the sun was setting behind our boats Bottom Time and Wish U Were Here.
We certainly do wish you were here! xoxox

A few photos...

The first two photos above and below are the views
we have just steps from the dive shop...



Below is the view directly from the dive shop...
note our pier and you can kind of see Wish U Were
Here which is one of the dive boats. The other is
called Bottom time.

Cleaning and flying cochroaches (Sept 8)

I have spent the past two days getting this place spic and span. It's been hard work. Yesterday I walked the kilometer or so to Woody's Grocery Store to get some cleaning supplies. I walked home with one of the biggest buckets I've ever seen, a broom, a mop and a ton of cleaning products. It was a long walk home and I even briefly considered packing it on my head for Justin's sake back home. He's convinced all Africans can balance things on their head. I was, however, already amusing many of the locals so I didn't want to completely humiliate myself...anway, I picked out the cleaning stuff based on what little Spanish I know and tried to follow the directions. I'm still not sure what's what. I washed all the curtains, sheets, pillowcases and our laundry. I then disinfected the countertops, side tables and floors. I wished my mom was here to help. She can clean anything twice as well as I can in half the time. It would have been nice to team up against the job! I can't believe it's only 10:46 am...I've been working since 7 am this morning and the floors and sheets are finally done. Here sleeping in doesn't happen. Between the roosters, the dogs and the sun, everyone is up at 7 am. It's actually quite nice.

Last night I had tea for the first time since my arrival. Although we only seem to have dehydrated milk close at hand, it actually tasted quite nice in my tea. I managed to find Lipton teabags and that first sip was delicious. It made me a bit homesick though...my last real cup of tea was with Jenny and her belly :( I dedicated my cup to her. This morning I broke out the coconut bread I bought yesterday and slathered it with margarine and jam. Truth be told, it tasted quite a lot like regular bread...not so much coconut but whatever. It was still awesome! I've been craving toast, jam and tea forever! It's nice to be grateful for such small graces. The little comforts really count here. I'm starting to like Roatan more and more.

I've made a couple of friends although the dive shop is mostly full of guys. Shona is a DMT from England who is here for (hopefully) two more weeks. She is softspoken and funny with a great tan! I quite like her. She has given me a ton of useful tips on surviving Roatan and our male-dominated dive shop! She's awesome. Last night we went for supper and, come to think of it, the night before I think we went for supper too. We were the only two people in the restaurant with soft lighting and Barry White playing in the background! HAHAHA...we joked it was a date! She cracks me up! We gossip and share stories of our lives back home. It's nice to have her here and I'm really going to miss her when she goes :( It just won't be the same. Another nice girl I've recently met is Tati. I haven't had too much of a chance to chat with her but she has a sweet disposition and a quick smile. She's originally from El Salvador and has been diving since she was very, very young. Her skills are impressive and I look forward to getting to know her better.

Kevin's ear infection seems to be breaking. Will, the course director at the dive shop, had a new bottle of antibiotic ear drops and that seems to be helping. I wish it worked yesterday so that I could have had some help hauling my gear from Woody's and the rest of our stuff from the apartment. Anyway, last night Kevin decided he wanted to go and lie in our hammock after dark. Our balcony is just beautiful...anyway, off he goes only to discover a HUGE flying cochroach had already laid claim to his beloved hammock. The creature started attacking him and I, being the faithful wife I am, did the only thing I could do. I threw him a can of raid and locked him outside to battle it out head to head. Kevin won, but he wasn't impressed. He's since decided not to venture onto the balcony after dark. Wise choice, I'd say.

Speaking of yesterday, it was my brother Arno's 19th birthday!!! I did phone him but since I couldn't write on the blog, I'll write it now!! I hope this is your best year yet. You are a fantastic brother and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I know your talent, humour, smarts and compassion will take you very far in life. I can't wait to see you meet your full potential. Love you SO much!! Happy birthday monkey!

I've tried to post photos but the Internet connection doesn't like it so far. It went down completely yesterday but I do want to post pics of the new apartment (especially while it's clean). I'll keep working on it. Lots of love to everyone...back to my Roatan adventure....

Home sweet home! (Sept 6)

Tonight we moved into our new apartment. It is directly next door to our old apartment and, because our current landlord is a bit of a firecracker, we decided to move after dark in secret (we've already paid for the month). Problem is, Kevin has a raging ear infection and is feeling terrible, so it was really just me moving. We are in the basement suite and, a couple of times, I'd drop something leaving the place and the upstairs lights would come on. I'd have to freeze with my heavy bags in hand until the lights went off again. Don't get me wrong, the place we were staying at was nice....but I discovered where the crab came from. Apparently it came in through a gaping hole in the ceiling by the shower. I can pretty much guarantee that is not the last critter that will be coming through there. It can easily fit a cat so I can't imagine what else it can fit. The place we have now is a one bedroom (not a studio) so Kevin can sleep while I enjoy my internet connection!! YAY!!! It's sooo nice being able to email and Facebook regularly again.

So today I finished my rescue course and I'm now a certified rescue diver!! I am totally thrilled. Unfortunately Kevin couldn't finish his last day because of his infection. He's on oral antibiotics and a steriod ear drop...along with tylenol 4 for the pain. He left it a tad too long and is in pretty rough shape. It really came on suddenly, but he'll be okay. I'm practically a doctor ;-) hehehe...Anyway, the last day of the course was intense. I had to "rescue" my instructor who was found unconscious at the surface of the ocean. I towed him into the boat against the current for at least 15 minutes giving him rescue breaths every five seconds. It was tough! Then, just as I found relief at the boat and took off my gear, two other people started panicking and drowning. I then had to swim out to sea with my snorkel, mask and fins to rescue them one at a time while the one tried everything she (my new friend Shona) could to rip off my mask. I can tell you one thing...the dive shop I'm at takes the safety very seriously. We went through drill after drill, practice after practice until we nailed each and every move. It is probably one of the most informative and useful courses I have ever taken in my life and it's made me a much better diver. I plan to go along on Kev's dives so he can rescue me....it's not really fair though because I had to save him a few days ago and tow him 200 metres during a drill. As you can imagine, there is a slight weight difference between us. It was a silent rescue as I pictured him eating burritos while I hit the gym back in GP. Anyway, I digress....

Things are much better here for us now...like I said, it was a big adjustment. Roatan is pretty far removed (in terms of political unrest) from the mainland, but every now and then you get a reminder. For intense, two huge military helicopters flew up and down the coast yesterday checking out the boats. I guess they were looking for drugs but machine guns above your head are always unnerving. Most people here are very upset with how the coup has been reported on....every single person I've asked is happy Zelaya was ousted. They say he would turn Honduras into a dictatorship and they feel the move is the first real act of democracy they've seen from the rest of their government. I find most of the locals and expats very well informed about their political situation. The coup has had a serious impact on businesses here in Roatan however...most people are too scared to travel even though the Bay Islands really are an entity unto themselves. It's slow and is bound to get slower as rainy season approaches. A lot of people are suffering because of biased reporting.

Our dive shop owner suggested putting me in touch with a few key people she knows to do some reporting out here, but I don't think that's a good idea for now. First of all, I don't know enough about the situation and second of all, there are Zelaya supporters here that wouldn't take too kindly to it. I'm here to dive...best keep it at that for now. The local police are very friendly though and they have a "tourist" police station not far from here. As far as I can tell, there isn't much crime aside from petty theft. Besides, Kevin and I are pretty much taller than everyone here and he's very intimidating. I feel very safe (aside from the damn taxi drivers!).

I'm going to try and add a few photos.....

A Week Already?!? Sept 5/09

I can't belive we've already been here for a week. Internet has been hit and miss for the past few days so I haven't updated nearly as much as I will in the future. Sit back, this will most likely be a long post.

What can I tell you? Life on Roatan is different from anything I've ever experienced before. Kevin and I were pretty overwhelmed at first. It is a collision of old and new and seems to be having difficulty finding its legs. Power outages are common. Taxi drivers are crazy (where in the world aren't they?!) and they have the biggest bugs/lizards/cochroaches I've ever seen!! The day before yesterday I saw a HUGE lizard. I mean, it was gigantic and I was fascinated. Last night when we got home, I discovered a crab bigger than my hand sitting in the bathtub. It had fallen from the ceiling. It was huge...like Red Lobster style huge. They are land crabs though. I doubt they're very good for eating. Kevin had to round it up using a plastic bag and a mesh food cover. It was quite amusing but I stood faaaaar back!!

The diving here is fantastic. We have gone diving most days and have finished our Advanced Open Water Course. We are now in the process of becoming rescue divers and will be finished tomorrow. At this dive shop, it is intense!! Eight full hours at the surface rescuing divers and practicing skills. I've never had sunburn on my hands and scalp before. Tomorrow will have even bigger obstacles for us to overcome but it makes us 100 times better divers and more skilled. It definitely irks Kevin that I'm at the top of our class but I, of course, relish in the fact. Kevin likes to be the best at everything and so do I so our competitive streaks come out at times like this. He's still excellent though. He's turning into a really good diver. I'm proud of him and he's super enthusiastic. Anyway, once we're done our rescue course we become dive master trainees. For those who don't know, a divemaster is the first professional level of scuba diving. They lead dives, help instructors etc. It's involves an internship and it's a lot of work!! Heavy lifting and lots of diving are coming our way. We are excited and know we couldn't have picked a better dive shop to do it at (Coconut Tree Divers). Everyone there is fantastic and it really is like a great big family.

Hopefully we'll be moving into the place next door within the next few days. There we will have our own Internet and I'll be able to post photos and more updates. I've been using the internet cafe so far and it's not always reliable. Anyway, we need to settle in still...our stuff is everywhere and it's difficult to get organized. Once this rescue course is finished we are taking a few days to explore the island and get ourselves ready for the DM course. Should be tons of fun. Anyway, love to everyone...I'm going to try and send some emails before my internet time runs out! Will blog again soon!

We're Here! (Aug 31)

I am so sorry that we haven't posted an update since we left. Things have been CRAZY!!! I will try to fill you in as much as possible in the short time frame I have. Caesar (my cab driver) is taking me to the market so that we can buy some food! He's a nice man...tries to rip me off constantly but I have my eye on him. Anyway....here it goes....

We arrived in Houston on Friday night and it was pretty interesting to say the least. I booked us into a place close to the airport called Greenspoint and while we were being loaded into our shuttle, a man approached me. He told me that I'd book us into an area of Houston affectionately known to the locals as "Gunspoint"...nice. He advised us not to go out after dark. So, we ended up eating the most disgusting pizza you can ever imagine because it was the only thing we could order in!! The bright side of all of this is that the next morning I was allowed to make my own waffle...in the shape of TEXAS! (Are you reading this Murina!?) I was just thrilled...Kevin didn't care. Hahaha...off to the airport.

We arrived in Roatan on Saturday and, I must say, it was a bit of a culture shock. Dirt roads...beautiful beach...lots of parties. It is definitely another world. We couldn't sleep because the heat was totally incredible. Anyway, yesterday we checked into this little basement apartment that is much, much cooler and has a beautiful tiny fairy door in the middle of this garden. It really is like living in the Secret Garden. Plus, we get a beautiful claw foot bathtub and the owner is Canadian. It's in a very safe area. I will post photos as soon as I take some...it's been a rocky few days and at first I didn't want to do anything. Even though I've traveled a lot this is different and I find myself missing my friends and family to the point of tears. Silly girl, I know. OH...and we started diving today...three dives today...did a fun dive, a navigational dive and a peak buoyancy control dive as well. Tomorrow we finish our advanced course and on Wednesday we start Rescue...it's supposed to be INTENSE and we hear we will be tired and burnt to a crisp from the sun. Luckily I bought SPF 45 waterproof...although, of course, I'm the only one that uses it. Kevin is invincible. HAHA....

What else can I tell you? Hmmm...oh, my first day here (don't get alarmed) I was hit by a car. It wasn't very hard (no broken bones) but it did really hurt. Apparently the taxi drivers drink and drive in the evening and I was in their way. He clipped me pretty hard with his side mirror but some rum eased my pain. Speaking of which, the people at our diveshop (Coconut Tree Divers) are AWESOME!! So much fun...should be a very interesting few months. We're starting to settle in a bit more and feel more comfortable. It's hard to unwind and take things as they come. They say it'll be a couple of weeks before I'm not quite as high-strung.

Okay...must end now....talk again soon when the Internet connection is better. Oh, lots of bugs and crabs here. A lizard lives in our room but apparently he eats the gross bugs so it's better to leave him in there they say. Lots of love to all our friends and family!!! We miss you so much. I tried to call you today at work mom...just wanted to say things are good and I'm feeling much better about it all. Don't be worried!!! xoxoxoxxox Toot! Toot! Caesar's waiting!!

I Hate You Backpack! (Aug 28th)

It's 2 a.m. and we just finished packing. What a nightmare!! I don't consider myself a diva by any means (I can be ready to go anywhere in 5 minutes), but 85 litres is not as much as it sounds! I had to pack and unpack three times to make it all fit. I tell ya, that backpack is a b!tch of a lover! Nice to you one second...busting your chops the next. I'd open up one set of zippers only to have my stuff fall out another set of zippers. Anyway, I finally made it all fit (with room to spare after I got tough with myself) and now it's staring at me with it's taunting shoulder straps and oversized waist band. I have a feeling this war has just begun.

We said most of our goodbyes tonight. My dad came from Grimshaw to see us off and we had a lot of laughs! I saw him this past weekend as well and shed most of my goodbye tears then thinking I wouldn't see him again before we left. He will most likely come to South Africa when we're there though so it won't be too long before we meet up again. That will be a blast! He is the most fun person to travel with and you will always have an adventure if you're with him!

I bid adieu to Debi and thought long and hard about her wedding we'd be missing. I tried not to think about the details...her something borrowed, something blue. I tried to focus on the delicious cupcakes she brought but, in the end, we cried. Of course we did. I think there was a lot left unsaid mostly because it was just too damn difficult. Our weekly coffee dates are something I'll miss very much.

I made calls and said farewell to Murina. We didn't cry, but that was only because we hung up strategically and promised to learn how to use Skype. I think she may be worried that I'll end up dead in a ditch. She didn't say as much, but I know her. When I went to meet Kevin for the first time (we met online) she made me describe to her, in detail, what I was wearing. It was for the police report, she explained sternly....for when they found me chopped up in a suitcase by the river. Don't worry Meena!! I'll be safe. I can only hope this trip turns out half as well as that first meeting with Kev!

Lastly, I said goodbye to Jenny. That was very difficult. I almost escaped without any tears but didn't make it. I think it was the six month baby bump that dissolved my resolve. You see, I was there for the birth of both her and Luke's children...but won't be there for this one. It breaks my heart. We've been tied at the hip since we were 12 and have shared the important moments....engagements, marriages, babies etc but this is one thing I'll have to miss. I'm not happy about it. I'll leave it at that because I feel the tears coming back....

Tomorrow (or later today if you want to get technical) will be the hardest goodbye of all. I'll have to say goodbye to my mom and my brother. I've never been away from my mom for more than 2 1/2 months so this will be tough. She's my soft place to fall (love you mommy! xoxo). That farewell is going to make me sob like a baby. It's going to be terribly embarrassing. I've convinced myself that my brother will meet us somewhere along our travels and that makes his goodbye easier. Hopefully it won't be a full year until I see him again. His face makes me smile.

I guess it was naive to think that goodbyes would be easier because we had this grand adventure ahead. I think it makes it that much harder because you can't really share the experiences with the people you love the most. Blogs and emails are great but they aren't the same. I miss them already and we haven't even left yet...the plane leaves in 6 1/2 hours!

So Much To Do! (Aug 26)

It feels like we're in a vortex and time is spinning madly out of control. I can barely catch my breath and I feel like I'm leaving a million strings untied. It is emotionally and physically draining trying to wrap up an entire life. It's like we're on the edge of a cliff...dangling dangerously on the edge. There is no going backwards...only a sheer jump into something we can't see. The excitement is palpable. The energy is electric. The fear is real. The day after tomorrow life as we know it changes forever.

We're leaving when?! (Aug 23)

WOW! Time flies. This Friday we're leaving on a trip we've been planning for three years. Well, planning is a strong word...we've been dreaming about it...there hasn't been much planning at all! That's the best part. For once we just want to fly by the seat of our pants and live life moment to moment. It's exciting, but scary at the same time. It's a huge leap of faith but we know it's going to be freakin' awesome! There is no denying that leaving will be hard. Up until now we've been in a bit of denial about how hard it will really be to leave our family and friends. There have been a lot of tears this week and there are surely more around the corner. It's difficult to picture being gone during some really special times coming up. We're going to miss new babies, weddings, birthdays, Christmas and so much more. In the end though, this is something we have to do. Perhaps only the two of us can really understand why. It's like that old cliche...feel the fear and do it anyway.